Ted said pretty much the same stuff as I was about to say. Yes....BE YOURSELF! And encourage her to relax and to do the same. And if either of you don't like what you see? Then so be it! Don't rehearse situations and scenarios in your mind, because they invariably won't happen like that. This is the Philippines. It's Asia. It's the Third World. It's not like the tropical paradises you see in the movies. It's hot....crowded...noisy....disorganised. It is NOT America! Don't expect it to be! Don't expect HER to be a short American girl with dark hair! Keep your mind open, and keep your sense of humour alive and well at all times. Don't let the stuff around you distract you too much from your main purpose, which is to visit Marleen and to get to know the person she is. Give yourselves plenty of time to just sit and talk. Families and friends can often be overwhelming. Without being rude, do NOT let this come between you and her. The country...the family...the noise and the colour....(AND the beach sunsets)...this is only the fluff and decorations. The substance is a man and a woman trying to work out if they're compatible enough to make a the biggest decision of your lives.

Now, although I appreciate that you've said you're a gentleman and intend to remain one, please allow me to give some older-bloke advice to a younger-bloke:

Firstly, I'm glad you said the "gentleman" word, so I'm probably saying this more for the benefit of others who may read this. The Philippines is a country and culture that still places value on virginity. It's a gift to be given to a girl's husband. Don't treat it lightly and take what truly isn't yours for the taking, or you could wreck a girls life.

Secondly, even if you keep it zipped up (which you should!), you'll soon discover that Filipinas are generally far sweeter and more charming than any girl you've ever met back home. Even without knowing it, it's very easy to find yourself thinking with the small-head instead of the one on your shoulders. Being charming, sweet and gorgeous is all very nice....but it's not enough in itself to say that she's the one you can spend the rest of your life with. IS she the future mother of your children? Can you picture her pushing a supermarket trolley and helping you to balance the family budget? IS she your future life-partner in all aspects of life, and not just in the bedroom or holding hands and looking at the sunset?

Lots to think about. Just make sure you keep both feet planted on the ground, and make time to think and reflect? Good luck, and happy travels! :D



Jeff_from_Australia

Forum Tanduay Master